Although numerous Muslims might right now remain in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its awful repercussions, there are numerous methods to put their marriage back on the right track if the couple are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are currently in trouble or by Muslims who want to prevent problem in their marital relationship.
Lots of Muslim couples treat each other like foes rather than partners. The other half feels that he is in charge, and whatever he says goes. The better half feels that she needs to squeeze everything she can out of her partner. Some better halves never reveal their partner that they are pleased with anything he does or buys for them in order to deceive him into doing and buying more. They make him seem like a failure if he does not give them the way of life that their friends and families take pleasure in. Some partners speak very roughly to their spouses, embarrass them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.
Marriage In The Eyes of Allah
It is extremely unfortunate that this relationship which Allah has actually developed for the great has been made a source of contention, deceptiveness, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marital relationship is expected to be.
Allah described marriage extremely differently in the Holy Quran: ‘… He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye might stay in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) …” (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
1. Do not be a Tyrant
No matter whether Islam has made the husband the head of the home, Muslims are not expected to be totalitarians and autocrats. We are taught to treat our other halves well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the very best amongst you are those who behave best to their other halves” (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278( R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).
2. Be Partners in the Choice Making Process
Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” and make decisions as a family. There will be far more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everybody feels that they had some part in making them.
3. Never be Mentally
Never be mentally, psychologically, or physically abusive to your spouse1. The Prophet, peace and true blessings be upon him, never maltreated his partners. He is reported to have stated: ‘How could they beat their females in daytime as servants then sleep with them in the night?”
4. Take care of Your Words
Be really mindful what you state when you are upset. Sometimes you will state things that you would never ever state when you were not mad. If you are angry, wait up until you cool down prior to continuing the discussion.
5. Program Love
Program affection for your mate. Be kind, mild, and loving.
5. Be Your Partner’s Pal
Program interest in your mate’s life. Too often, we reside in the exact same house but know nothing about each other’s lives. It would be great if the couple could interact for the same cause or on the exact same job. They might maybe establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.
6. Show Appreciation
Show appreciation for what your partner provides for the household. Never make your hubby feel that he is refraining from doing good enough for the family or that you are not pleased with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is genuinely lazy and not even aiming to attend to the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not consider the woman who has actually been unthankful to her partner.” (where is this hadith found) Program your other half that you appreciate her. If she cares for your home and the children, don’t take it for given. It is hard work, and nobody wants to feel unappreciated.
7. Interact in your house
The Prophet is understood to have assisted his partners in your home. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim hubbies should not feel that they are.
8. Communication is necessary
Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it ought to be. Couples need to speak with each other. It is much better to deal with issues early and truthfully than to let them accumulate until a surge occurs.
9. Forget Past Problems
Do not bring up past issues once they have been resolved
10. Live Simply
Do not be jealous of those who appear to be living a more glamorous life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to establish the quality of satisfaction, take a look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many true blessings in your life.
11. Provide Your Spouse Time Alone
If your mate doesn’t wish to be with you all the time, it doesn’t suggest she or he doesn’t like you. People have to be alone for various reasons. Often they want to read, to think of their problems, or simply to relax. Do not make them feel that they are committing a sin.
12. Confess Your Errors
When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate slips up, reason him or her quickly. If possible, never ever go to sleep upset with each other.
13. Physical Relationship is essential
Be available to your mate sexually, and don’t let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have actually stated: ‘It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast however you need to send a message of love ahead of time.”
14. Have Meals Together
Aim to consume together as a household when possible. Program the cook and the dishwashing machine, whether it is the partner or the wife, gratitude for his/her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.
15. Be Mindful of Your conversation Subjects
Never ever discuss with others things about your marriage that your partner would not like you to go over, unless there is an Islamic need to do so. Some couples, think it or not, complain to others about their mate’s physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Details about your intimate relations ought to be kept in between you and your partner.
A number of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never ever deal with others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and client. With our partners, we typically do disappoint these courtesies. Obviously, we are generally with our partners at our worst times– when we are exhausted and disappointed after a hard day. After a bad day at the workplace, partners generally get home angry and on edge. The other half has probably also had a hard day with the children and the household chores. Other halves and partners ought to discuss this prospective time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will comprehend the reasons rather than immediately believing that their spouse no longer loves them.
Happy Muslim Marriage require perseverance, kindness, humility, sacrifice, compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness, and effort. Following these concepts ought to help any marital relationship to improve. The essence of them all can be summarized in one sentence: Always treat your partner the manner in which you would like to be treated. If you follow this guideline, your marital relationship will have a much greater opportunity for success. If you discard this guideline, failure is just around the corner.